Only personal ideas about general things, spiritual or secular. A keepsake of some realizations I especially encountered in my student-life.

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That’s My Dad

This time I’d like to say something about the most misunderstood person in my life, my own father.

Because I don’t talk much to him, nor open to him since I speak more freely with my mother, I then usually have hard feelings towards my father.

To me, he is just strict, killjoy, inconsiderate.

But I was wrong.

If there is anyone concerned about me, nothing can surpass him, neither my mom.

He gets more anxious than my mom whether I still have something to eat or not.

He just works behind the scenes. He doesn’t tell me he loves me. He just does it.

How did I know about this? How did I get enlightened about him?

He did not tell me, but his counterpart did. As I opened to my mom, she also told me what my father does, his reactions, his plans – all for his children’s sake.

He just did not tell me. He just didn’t know how to say it, perhaps. Or maybe my opinion about him blinded me to see his real intentions. Yes, he was strict, but I’m glad about that now. He seems indifferent, but maybe he’s just burried in his worries for our sake.

Pa, why are your works so hidden? Many times I was ungrateful because I think it’s only Mama who cares for us.

I then realized how often I have been like this toward the Lord Jesus Himself thinking that He doesn’t really care at all for why would he let me be in this situation… But He Himself works in hidden ways. Why is there a need to hide? Why not tell me directly what’s going on?

But I also learned to treasure him and Him this way. I’m impressed. I appreciated them better now. Why does it have to take this long for me to see this? Nevetheless, thank You, Lord, for opening my eyes. I don’t deserve You, nor my loving earthly father. I was ungrateful. I was blind. Now, words are not enough to express how much I adore Your ways. You have given him to me, to us. Thank You for my parents. Thank You for my family. You deserve to be praised. Praise You, Lord Jesus!

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Rom. 8:28

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A Heart’s Overflow of a Good Matter

My Lord is my love.

I love Him because

not only He first loved me,

His love is also so much greater than mine.

Yet despite the incomparably little love I have,

He delights with it

with much greater appreciation

than I do with His.

How sweet of Him.

My Love doesn’t care

how much I fail.

He only cares how much

I turn to Him.

That’s why my only plea

is for Him to let me see

how “all things” is meant for me.

Because everytime I see,

by His mercy,

His beauty in “all things”,

my love for Him grows,

more and more,

little by little,

grows unto maturity,

until I’d become ready

to meet my only Love.

My Lord, my Love,

keep on drawing me.

Now, my heart’s no longer empty.

It’s being filled by my Love

with Himself as the one real love.

Oh, I can love all things!

No more preference for any person,

matter or thing, for my Love

is loving them for me.

How I fall for Him!

How I love Him!

My Lord, my Love,

how sweet of You to draw me.

— 8/27/13 Tuesday. First hour. Inspired from my enjoyment in the Crystallization-Study of Genesis, message 1 – The Central Thought of God.

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If God leads you…just Amen

Many times I couldn’t agree with the Lord to my situation and I tend to rationalize. I was like “This isn’t right. It should’ve been like this, like that…” But by the Lord’s grace, He Himself will lead us to realize that in whatever wrong situation we see, there is a purpose behind it. We may not need to ask Him why and He may or may not tell us, but the thing is that we must learn to say “Amen” to the situation. Then life flows. In all things, what is important is the flowing of life. Before, I just thought that if we follow the ‘right’ thing, we get more life. And so, I tend to get frustrated when the ‘right’ thing is not what I find. Then the Lord was kind enough to unveil that the flowing of life is not necessarily merely on good situations. Rather, He could flow even more in us during worst times. Besides, it is the Lord that has led us in such a situation and He surely would be our supply in that situation. Now, when I start to think as before, I’m happy to be reminded of the hymn below. A sister introduced this to me long ago but the real appreciation to its reality came to me just recently. Honestly, I don’t easily appreciate practical spiritual experiences for it seems that I am filled with doctrines only (as one being what they call as ‘church kid’-one whose parents are Christians before having borne). I have known before that God is life, that life is not about right or wrong but that it is a matter of life, but whenever I’m in the actual situation I seem to forget what I heard, then I murmur, reason, and worse, compare and despise. Though it took time for me to realize this (and this would be impossible without the Body), I am most of all thankful that the Lord has not given up on me. He is continually dispensing. He is the supply in whatever situation we are. I think I loved the Lord more today. Lord, you are my Amen. I love You.

If God leads you to walk
A way that you know,
It will not benefit you as much as
If He would lead you to take the way
That you do not know.
This forces you to have
Hundreds and thousands of
Conversations with Him,
Resulting in a journey that is an
Everlasting memorial
Between you and Him.


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Just as the days of Noah

The Lord’s speaking these days mostly concerns His coming back. For this there is the exhortation to be watchful by beseeching as seen in Luke 21:36

But be awatchful at every time, bbeseeching that you would 1prevail to 2escape 3all these things which are about to happen and 4cstand before the Son of Man.

Several verses in the New Testament also describes what the Lord’s second coming is like and these verses say that it will be like the days of Noah.

37 aFor just as the 1days of Noah were, so will the bcoming of the Son of Man be.

38 1For as they were in those days before the flood, 2eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day in which aNoah entered into the ark.

1aAnd even as it happened in the 2bdays of Noah, so will it be also in the cdays of the Son of Man.

In the days of Noah until now, the people are still doing the same thing – eating, drinking, marriage, and given in marriage. But the instrumental thing here which brought the Lord’s judgment on the time of Noah was the building of the ark that eventually became their salvation. They entered into the ark and they were saved from the flood, the judgment.

1Who had formerly disobeyed when the long-suffering of God waited in the days of aNoah, while the ark was being prepared; entering into which, a few, that is, eight souls, were 2brought safely through 3by bwater.

Today, what brings the Lord back is also a building. The ark typifies today’s built-up church. Being in the church is our salvation from the coming judgment to the world. The church is also our refuge. In order to participate in this building, the need is not just for us to read our Bible, to beseech, to be spiritual, but much more for us to be built-up with others especially in our small groups. When Daniel overcame by setting his heart not to be defiled, he wasn’t alone, rather, he had his three companions. Likewise, if we would be the overcomers to hasten the Lord’s return, we must be ones who are built-up with others. Unless, the church is built-up, the Lord can’t come back. Our Bible reading, our praying, our loving the Lord and pursuing of Him are not merely for us but must be for His building. If we love the Lord, not only do we keep His words but also we love those whom He loves. Since He loved the church that He even gave gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25), how much more should we, the constituents of His beloved bride, love one another (John 13:34,35;15:12,13,17;Romans 12:10).

Since we all love the Lord’s appearing, may we all give ourselves for His building!

(This post is based on my enjoyment received from a brother’s sharing during our collegian’s Campus Meeting on Nov. 12, ’12, monday 3-5pm).


Let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement…of spirit..

Just these past few days, I was bothered by what a brother shared concerning a very well-known fantasy magical novel-turned-to-movie series. Before that he shared about preaching the gospel and went to the matter that his son was able to pass the test because of someone that has told him about sorcery… It means that his son was able to never read even a single book of that novel neither has he seen any movie of it since he knew that it was about sorcery. The word “passed the test” sank to me deeply and I thought I was really so unfortunate that in my case, I’ve read all the books of the series and have even seen the movies. That was when I was in my 4th yr in high school. Now, four years after, I just knew that what I did wasn’t a good idea.

I then wondered how can there be something wrong with what I did when for me, I never intended to practice magic or sorcery or divination, if there really is, neither do I even believe in them, and I only intended to know the story since at that time, every one else is so hooked to it and I can’t afford myself to be left behind.

I have been asking this question before and it seems that I don’t get satisfied with the answers I receive. This question is that if practice of sorcery is abominable to God and that touching those things defiles the spirit, then how does reading or watching a story about it defiles my spirit if I don’t even practice it myself, neither believed in it?

An elder brother helped me to see the truth behind this matter and have pointed me to some verses. They are enlisted in the following:

  • Lev. 19:26 You shall not eat anything with blood, nor shall you practice divination or soothsaying. (27) You shall not round the corners of your heads, nor shall you mar the edges of your beard. (28) You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor inscribe any marks upon you; I am Jehovah. (20:27) If there is a man or a woman who is a medium or a spiritist, they shall surely be put to death. They shall stone them with stones; their blood shall be upon them.
  • Deu 18:9 When you enter the land which Jehovah your God is giving you, you shall not learn to do things according to the abominations of those nations. (10) There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or daughter pass through fire; anyone who performs divination, practices soothsaying, or interprets omens; or anyone who employs sorcery (11) Or casts spells; or anyone who consults a spirit of the dead or a familiar spirit or inquires of the dead; (12) For everyone who does these things is an abomination to Jehovah; and on account of these abominations Jehovah your God is dispossessing them from before you. (13) You shall be blameless toward Jehovah your God. (14) For these nations whom you are dispossessing listen to those who practice soothsaying and to those who perform divination, but Jehovah your God has not allowed you to do so.
  • Isa. 47:9 – But these two things will come upon you/ Suddenly, in one day:/ Loss of children and widowhood;/ In full measure they will come upon you/ In spite of the multitude of your sorceries;/ In spite of the great power of your spells.
  • 2Cor. 7:1 – Therefore since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and of spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
  • Gal 5:19 – And the works of the flesh are manifest, which are such things as fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (20) Idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, divisions, sects,…
  • Rev. 9:21, 1Sam.28:7-14

From these verses, especially from their footnotes (in the Recovery version of the Bible), we can see that doing something to our own will is actually as evil as contacting an evil spirit, a rebellion against God. By simply reading and watching the story, whose will was obeyed? Surely, it wasn’t God’s.

In Acts 16:6, we can also see that forbidding is the Holy Spirit’s leading. As I continued to watch similar movies related to magic after I was aware of the verses above, though I may still question myself of the same question above, but there is the undeniable bothering inside me which led me to ask another brother who had been in the church life for a long time.

And this is what he said. ‘Even though you simply read the words, but in every word there is the element of something. As long as it is not God’s, it is Satan’s. By reading them, you have touched an element of Satan. If your mind keeps on questioning, then you lack faith in the Lord. It is by faith that we are saved and by faith that we will be delivered. But everything has something to do with our growth in life.’

I simply could not accept how immature I was. I couldn’t hold my tears back in realizing this. As I have been struggling with my mind, my spirit was there actually giving me a ‘bothering’ sense to which I do not want to take heed. It actually doesn’t want me to touch those things again and again as if I hadn’t known the Lord, but I regret that I neglected it just because I followed my reasonings. I may have not practiced anything related to sorcery – divination, soothsaying, etc- but by simply reading or watching about them, that is to “touch” them, a dispensing have been received that is not of life. Every word is a dispensing. The brother even told me that brother Lee once said that even if you don’t understand the Word, just read it and you will be watered. Oh, how we should consider our ways even in the words that we ‘touch’! May we don’t just do anything according to the fashion of this age, “but be transformed by the renewing of the mind that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and well pleasing and perfect.”(Rom.12:2) And may we just redeem our time to read the Word of God that we would then be just “with unveiled face, beholding and reflecting like a mirror the glory of the Lord”(2Cor. 3:18)!

I will also never forget the word the elder brother said. What is past, is past! What is ahead, is ahead and we have an opportunity to follow the Lord! 🙂..

May the Lord Jesus bless us all in our church life as His testimony on the earth today.